k
s
)n. Slang
1. The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage.
2. Aggressive energy; initiative: "His prose has moxie, though it rushes and stumbles from a pent-up surge" Patricia Hampl.
3. Skill; know-how.
Just before the end of the day on Thursday, one of the owners called me into his office. I anticipated this call as the calendars of the sales staff were quickly filling for the next morning. As it seemed everyone would be out of the office, I expected to be asked to mind the showroom.
To my surprise and excitement, Steve didn't ask me to watch the showroom, but he asked me to accompany him to a networking breakfast. Networking is a pretty big deal here in the New York metro area. I say that as if it isn't a big deal anywhere else. I don't think that and assume most larger cities have a myriad of business networking groups. What I do know is that it's a big thing here and it is not a big thing back in Southern Indiana.
When you're from a smaller town, networking is a moot point. Everyone already knows everyone. You're born into your network. Families that were doing business with each other 50 years ago are still doing business with each other today.
The meeting was really great and I was thankful to be there. My administrative role in our company doesn't really require to me to do much of this and I appreciated the invitation. I was meeting with very interesting people from all different walks of life - from an owner/operator of a limousine company to the President and CEO of my bank. I spoke at length with a gentleman who is in the alternative energy business - making your home or business run from solar or wind power.
Just as the speaker started, a woman walked into the room. The room was full and extra tables were being set up. Something brought this woman to my table and I happily moved aside to make room for her extra chair. She quietly slid a business card to me and I was immediately drawn to the design of the card. It was an impeccably designed business card. I really couldn't take my eyes off of it. It was trendy and colorful. As my eyes scanned the card I read "exclusive community promoting the business and social interests of women."
How fabulous! It's like this situation just fell into my lap. I came from having a strong business and social network to a new area with virtually no business or social connections. What a great way to get to know like-minded women, make friends and meet business connections. Plus, I'm a strong advocate of women and woman-owned companies, etc.
When the speaker finished, I turned to the woman next to me and mentioned that I was sorry we hadn't the chance to talk before the speaker started, that I was very interested in her card and that I planned to e-mail her. She smiled excitedly and pulled a brochure from her bag. I've already explained how captivating her business card was, so you can imagine how fabulous this brochure was. I glanced at it and noticed how it focused on non-traditional networking and the meetings were held around cooking classes, spa visits or museum tours. I couldn't wait to get back to the office to pour over things.
On my way back to the office, I was thinking about this opportunity. I was thinking about how this woman could have sat at any table or next to anyone else at my table. I got excited about the opportunity to meet and learn from other women in the community.
I sat down with my brochure (if you can even call it that, really) and a cup of coffee. I read voraciously and pulled up the website. I wanted to know everything - where do I apply, what are the membership fees?
Wait a minute.
"This exclusive women's community is comprised of business-savvy professionals in senior level positions from all different industries and backgrounds."
Potential members must posses a certain X Factor that is necessary for membership. The requirements are listed as:
Are you kidding me right now? I'm not welcome as a part of this group because I'm not a CEO, Director or President? I'm not welcome because I'm new to the area and am not "well connected."
My mind wandered back to the meeting and the owner/President of the limousine company. His disheveled appearance and casual clothes were a stark contrast to the President and CEO of the bank. Yet these men were peers. Both men were in high executive positions of their respective companies.
How did I fit into this picture? My make up was conservative. My clothes were pressed and my shoes polished. I shook hands firmly and looked people in the eye. I smiled and spoke with confidence. When I introduced myself I stood straight and tall, smiled gently and separated myself from everyone by adding a "Good Morning."
... and I'm going to be excluded from this particular group of women who boast of supporting other women - because of my title or because of my lack of connections. What is it that doesn't seem very supportive about that?
For a moment I considered sending the e-mail anyway and explaining myself. I'm new to the area - how can I be well connected? I'm not in a Senior Position at my company, but there are only two and they're the owners! Surely she was have considered me. After all, she so eagerly gave me her card and the brochure.
I kept reading the website and the brochure. Instead of wanting to become a part of this group, I started to realize just how exclusive it was. Before, it had been pulling me in and now, truthfully, it was just putting me off.
ex·clu·sive (
k-skl
sv)
Reading between the lines, I saw the website and brochure condescending and almost insulting. This group doesn't embrace and support women. This group exludes women who don't fit a pre-determined socio-economic status.
Suddenly, I found myself thinking again about the president of the limousine company. He was welcomed into this group by his peers even though his company was more service oriented and it was likely that, at one time or another, he might have been the driver for one of these other men.
Women have separated themselves from men in various situations. There are women's hospitals that focus solely on the health care and wellness of women. Think of how we say "woman-owned company" and bask in the delightful thought of some woman, somewhere, who overcame adversity and runs a successful company or organization. We separate ourselves from men in so many ways, but when it comes down to the basic idea of acceptance - I think there is something we can learn from men.
I have no intention of speaking unkindly of this woman or her group. She's obviously filled a niche and has proven to be very successful. I'm happy for her, but it's just not something I can be a part of. Ever. Even after I move into a "senior level" position and have developed a strong network of business connections. I don't want to be part of a group of women that looks down upon other women.
For what it's worth, I am a professional woman. I am strong and confident and I am good at what I do, regardless of my title or lack thereof. I am charismatic and, believe me, I have moxie.
Just before the end of the day on Thursday, one of the owners called me into his office. I anticipated this call as the calendars of the sales staff were quickly filling for the next morning. As it seemed everyone would be out of the office, I expected to be asked to mind the showroom.
To my surprise and excitement, Steve didn't ask me to watch the showroom, but he asked me to accompany him to a networking breakfast. Networking is a pretty big deal here in the New York metro area. I say that as if it isn't a big deal anywhere else. I don't think that and assume most larger cities have a myriad of business networking groups. What I do know is that it's a big thing here and it is not a big thing back in Southern Indiana.
When you're from a smaller town, networking is a moot point. Everyone already knows everyone. You're born into your network. Families that were doing business with each other 50 years ago are still doing business with each other today.
The meeting was really great and I was thankful to be there. My administrative role in our company doesn't really require to me to do much of this and I appreciated the invitation. I was meeting with very interesting people from all different walks of life - from an owner/operator of a limousine company to the President and CEO of my bank. I spoke at length with a gentleman who is in the alternative energy business - making your home or business run from solar or wind power.
Just as the speaker started, a woman walked into the room. The room was full and extra tables were being set up. Something brought this woman to my table and I happily moved aside to make room for her extra chair. She quietly slid a business card to me and I was immediately drawn to the design of the card. It was an impeccably designed business card. I really couldn't take my eyes off of it. It was trendy and colorful. As my eyes scanned the card I read "exclusive community promoting the business and social interests of women."
How fabulous! It's like this situation just fell into my lap. I came from having a strong business and social network to a new area with virtually no business or social connections. What a great way to get to know like-minded women, make friends and meet business connections. Plus, I'm a strong advocate of women and woman-owned companies, etc.
When the speaker finished, I turned to the woman next to me and mentioned that I was sorry we hadn't the chance to talk before the speaker started, that I was very interested in her card and that I planned to e-mail her. She smiled excitedly and pulled a brochure from her bag. I've already explained how captivating her business card was, so you can imagine how fabulous this brochure was. I glanced at it and noticed how it focused on non-traditional networking and the meetings were held around cooking classes, spa visits or museum tours. I couldn't wait to get back to the office to pour over things.
On my way back to the office, I was thinking about this opportunity. I was thinking about how this woman could have sat at any table or next to anyone else at my table. I got excited about the opportunity to meet and learn from other women in the community.
I sat down with my brochure (if you can even call it that, really) and a cup of coffee. I read voraciously and pulled up the website. I wanted to know everything - where do I apply, what are the membership fees?
Wait a minute.
"This exclusive women's community is comprised of business-savvy professionals in senior level positions from all different industries and backgrounds."
Potential members must posses a certain X Factor that is necessary for membership. The requirements are listed as:
* Senior Level Professional - Seasoned member of the business community
* Decision Point Person - Able to make decisions and bold moves with little hesitancy
* Well Connected - Broad range of high level contacts within the region
* Eager to Share - This isn't a network for the stingy and reluctant.
* Decision Point Person - Able to make decisions and bold moves with little hesitancy
* Well Connected - Broad range of high level contacts within the region
* Eager to Share - This isn't a network for the stingy and reluctant.
Are you kidding me right now? I'm not welcome as a part of this group because I'm not a CEO, Director or President? I'm not welcome because I'm new to the area and am not "well connected."
My mind wandered back to the meeting and the owner/President of the limousine company. His disheveled appearance and casual clothes were a stark contrast to the President and CEO of the bank. Yet these men were peers. Both men were in high executive positions of their respective companies.
How did I fit into this picture? My make up was conservative. My clothes were pressed and my shoes polished. I shook hands firmly and looked people in the eye. I smiled and spoke with confidence. When I introduced myself I stood straight and tall, smiled gently and separated myself from everyone by adding a "Good Morning."
... and I'm going to be excluded from this particular group of women who boast of supporting other women - because of my title or because of my lack of connections. What is it that doesn't seem very supportive about that?
For a moment I considered sending the e-mail anyway and explaining myself. I'm new to the area - how can I be well connected? I'm not in a Senior Position at my company, but there are only two and they're the owners! Surely she was have considered me. After all, she so eagerly gave me her card and the brochure.
I kept reading the website and the brochure. Instead of wanting to become a part of this group, I started to realize just how exclusive it was. Before, it had been pulling me in and now, truthfully, it was just putting me off.
ex·clu·sive (
k-sklsv)adj.
1. Excluding or tending to exclude: exclusive barriers.
2. Not allowing something else; incompatible: mutually exclusive conditions.
3. Not divided or shared with others: exclusive publishing rights.
4. Not accompanied by others; single or sole: your exclusive function.
5. Complete; undivided: gained their exclusive attention.
6. Not including the specified extremes or limits, but only the area between them: 20-25, exclusive; that is, 21, 22, 23 and 24.
7. Excluding some or most, as from membership or participation: an exclusive club.
8. Catering to a wealthy clientele; expensive: exclusive shops.
9. Linguistics Of, relating to, or being a first person plural pronoun that excludes the addressee, such as we in the sentence Chris and I will be in town tomorrow, so we can stop by your office.
n.
1. A news item initially released to only one publication or broadcaster.
2. An exclusive right or privilege, as to market a product.
Reading between the lines, I saw the website and brochure condescending and almost insulting. This group doesn't embrace and support women. This group exludes women who don't fit a pre-determined socio-economic status.
Suddenly, I found myself thinking again about the president of the limousine company. He was welcomed into this group by his peers even though his company was more service oriented and it was likely that, at one time or another, he might have been the driver for one of these other men.
Women have separated themselves from men in various situations. There are women's hospitals that focus solely on the health care and wellness of women. Think of how we say "woman-owned company" and bask in the delightful thought of some woman, somewhere, who overcame adversity and runs a successful company or organization. We separate ourselves from men in so many ways, but when it comes down to the basic idea of acceptance - I think there is something we can learn from men.
I have no intention of speaking unkindly of this woman or her group. She's obviously filled a niche and has proven to be very successful. I'm happy for her, but it's just not something I can be a part of. Ever. Even after I move into a "senior level" position and have developed a strong network of business connections. I don't want to be part of a group of women that looks down upon other women.
For what it's worth, I am a professional woman. I am strong and confident and I am good at what I do, regardless of my title or lack thereof. I am charismatic and, believe me, I have moxie.
Jen-Jen! You do indeed have moxie and you know what else you have? An amazing writing style. I was gripped and involved in your story and think you should submit it to a newspaper or something; what a great editorial style you have!
ReplyDeleteLove from Santa Fe, NM!
Willow Gutierrez